I.
Step One.
Don't.
Don't cry when Luke Skywalker comes to take you away.
Don't sulk and refuse to talk to the other children when you arrive.
Don't demand to see your parents fifteen times instead of listening.
Don't drop the stick. You're supposed to pretend it's a lightsaber. (You aren't trying very hard.)
Don't hit your friends with the stick when they look at you funny.
Don't slouch and droop when it's time for inspection. Draw yourself up tall, smile proudly, and look Luke Skywalker straight in the eye. (You are a Jedi. At least try to look the part.)
Don't call him a "tyrant" who "doesn't know anything."
Don't. (Ignore the voice, dark and sonorous, in your head.)
Don't be yourself.
-
Step Two.
Being a Jedi is hard.
Please try to clean up after yourself.
Please try not to leave your master's students smashed and scattered in the snow.
(You are tracking the blood in.)
II.
Yes, you can.
Of course you can.
You can make a mess if you want. We have thousands of troops who can clean it up.
You can rage in your room. No one will hear you.
You can even destroy the furniture. No need to worry about the cost. No need to worry about Hux's complaining. It's all part of the process. You will learn in time.
You can slam the stormtrooper who disobeyed you into the wall. Listen to his groans. (Darth Vader would have been proud.)
You can kill him, if you want.
You can land on that planet, draw your rusty red lightsaber, decimate the population, bare your teeth, grow stronger on their blood. (Somebody can take care of the mess. Move on to the next planet. And the next)
Yes, you can, you can, you can do it all.
Please.
Go ahead.
-
(You've forgotten a lot, haven't you, Ben?
Luke Skywalker's face when he came for you and you cried like you would never stop? He turned away for a moment and when he turned back he was trying to smile. Don't knock it till you try it, Ben. I promise you'll see them again.
He was proud of you, for all your griping. The first time your parents visited one would have thought he was the child, bursting with the need to please.
Your parents didn't want to let you go, but they had to. When's the last time you did something because you had to? They thought Luke could keep you safe. Your mother wept afterwards. Your father walked out to the cliffs because he needed to be alone. Didn't you feel it?
Don't you remember when Henutl, the welt of your pretend lightsaber still emblazoned across his face, challenged you for another round? Again, Ben, he said, and then shared his biscuits with you afterwards.
Remember when Luke Skywalker was a tyrant?
You certainly have forgotten a lot.)
-
Snoke wants the pilot. Get him the pilot.
Snoke wants the droid. Get him the droid.
He wants your father. No, no-- Get him your father.
(Be careful, father. Stay away from the sides of cliffs.)
-
Snoke wants the girl.
Here is how to please your master:
Step One.
Find the girl.
When your father falls, somebody screams.
There she is.
Step Two.
Fight the girl.
You should not find the fight difficult. She has no training, no master, no teacher. (She probably needs one.) Pound on your wounds, grit your teeth, plow through the stormtrooper who stands in your way, and fight the girl.
Step Three.
Lose.
(You've really done it this time, haven't you, Ben?)
Let yourself bleed out in the snow.
Let him stitch you back together again. However he wants.
Taste the freedom, raw and red and good, in your mouth. (Ignore the voice, brilliant and deafening, in your head.)
Please.
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